WWE’s Bill Goldberg is the Sweetest, Most Respectful Celebrity I’ve Ever Met

What if I told you Bill Goldberg, the WWE Champ, is an actual asshole? Well, tis’ true…sadly. “You’re lying!” – I know you’re saying to yourself. Well, sorry bubs. I’m an asshole and I know my own kind.

Here’s the story. A year ago I met him for the first time. I worked at Muscle & Fitness magazine as a Social Media Manager, and during my time there we started launching Facebook Live interviews like it was nobody’s business. It was somewhat brand new, and I was the kingpin of this new Facebook update so lets just say I was very involved in the “Bill Goldberg” project.

About two days prior I got an email from a PR guy (won’t mention names) asking to interview the WWE legend, and I was like YOOOOOOOOO THIS IS HYPE! I GET TO MEET GOLDBERG! I was pumped, like legit pumped. I watched WWE maybe five times as a kid (mom never allowed me to – if I had to be honest I think she thought it was real)…but I knew like five guys. Bill Goldberg was one of them so he became my “favorite” whenever kids asked me. Sure I couldn’t tell you anymore about him, he was just my ‘Trump’ card whenever the cool kid in school talked about WWE.

To sum it up, I was excited.

Fast forward to hours of preparation, collaboration with my dude Jason (interview guy & my homie), and a meeting with my boss.

It’s 9 am, Goldberg is here. Sure, he’s early but YOLO – we are the last people on celebrity’s media checklist.

Sure, we are a huge major online brand…but we were always second to national tv shows, GQ, Times, major radio stations…we were like the last tier of the high-end brands. We had as many people lined up to talk to us as Robin would at a Batman conference. We’re cool, but if I can only talk to one person…who’d I pick? This meant a ton of last-minute cancelations…AKA The ‘Gronk.’

(BTW I’m still pissed with you man, I planned like three hours & slept through four hours of traffic for you man – only to set the cameras up, and have your “guy” cancel our meeting after you were already 30 minutes late. -___- But I can’t hate you, you’re still fuckin’ awesome.)

Goldberg arrives, everyone is super excited to meet him. (Yes, all the 40-year old men in the office.) BOOM. He walks through the door like a ram with eyes of venom, disrespectfully skipping over my handshake (and the other five people before me), spitting bitter “Okay let’s get this over with” banter.

Dude sits in the chair, I set up behind the camera, say “3,2,1” and now the dude is all smiles & shit. I’m Irish af and boy did I fume like an Emerald potato. If I could go back, I’d slap the shit out of that flubbing motherlover and “Kevin-Nash” Goldberg straight to Hell! Sure he’d beat my a**, but it’d be worth the flaming disrespect he showed to everyone in our office. My office is my fam, and don’t fuck with family. Where’s Eminem when I need him, Goldberg is FAKE AF!

Interview is over, the smile goes away as soon the lights go out. He gets up and leaves before I can say a word. I figured I’d give him the benefit of the doubt, but HELL no. Fuck you Bill Goldberg, till we meet again. Good luck.

Just what the doctor ordered.
Revenge is the best medicine,
Increase the dose, from lease to most.
And the tell Bill to go and fuck himself,
He sucks the blood from the biggest media like some leeches,
So they market ‘him, get ‘him there, get Goldberg on the show,
Every parasite needs a host (haha)

• Oh, thank you Eminem.

I can always count on ‘Em at last Curtain Call.